Fartin' Gone Haywire!
PLEASE NOTE: This section is under construction until further notice.
I have a problem. Ever since I was a young boy, I've had this sick obsession with toilet humor. I know it's childish, assinine, and juvenile, but I simply can't help it: I LOVE anything dealing with farts. When I first got online, in the spring of '97, I wanted to see if there were anyplace that I could go to try and satisfy my sick mind. I found that place at www.farts.com. But that's not all I found, no, not even close. I had the distinct pleasure of finding a site called "Famous Anus' Museum O' Fart," home of such fart soundfiles as the "Name That Fart" gameshow and the Fartin' Elmo (a parody of Tickle Me Elmo) doll. However, "Famous Anus'" museum seems to have dropped from the face of the earth. What a shame. "Now people will only have the memories to go by," you might be thinking. Well think that no more. I happen to have downloaded some choice soundfiles from the Museum before it closed it's doors, and now they are here for you to enjoy again! And as if that weren't enough, I've also made a couple of my own fart soundfiles to go with these classics! Please note that these files are all .WAVs, unless otherwise noted. Also, these soundfiles are all meant for good fun, that's all. No offense is meant to any of the personalities portrayed in these files. So sit back, relax, and remember to flush when you're done perusing these soundfiles!
1. "Farting Japanese" (32k) You may not be able to understand what they're saying, but A Fart Is Universal!
2. "Andy Farphith" (61k) All right, you should all recognize the theme song played here... so whistle along!
3. "They Start Young..." (29k) Whew, what's that baby been eating?!
4. "Some People Are Just Sick..." (31k) Can you believe that some parents actually encourage this kind of behavior?!
5. "Farts in a Bottle" (31k) Granted, Jim Croce probably never thought of this lyric when he did this song. But you have to admit it sounds interesting...
6. "Fartweiser" (30k) Remember the Budweiser Frogs? Sounds like one of them has a gas problem...
7. "Cornholio Farts" (65k) "Hey, Butthead! (ehh heh-heh) Pull my finger!"
8. "Blew Danube" (31k) Let us now pause, and let the soothing melody fill our ears... Not our noses!
9. "The Civil Farts Movement" (179k) Remember, this is all in fun! No offense meant to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. or African Americans in general. Just listen and have a good laugh.
10. "Fartin' Elmo" (50k) Let's face it: If you were being tickled in the stomach after eating some beans, you'd fart too!
11. "It's My Farty" (150k) Leslie Gore is definitely a liberated woman in this case. You go, girl!
12. "Stinky Is As Stinky Does" (45k) One of my own creations. I think Forrest has been eating too many shrimp here...
13. "Name That Fart" (121k) The gameshow you've never heard of. Hey, who's that last contestant?
14. "Homer Simpson And The Fart" (31k) With a diet of Duff Beer and pork rinds, what else would you expect Homer to do in his spare time?
15. "No New Farts!" (35k) Nice job there, George Bush, Sr.!
16. "What Do YOU Feel Like?" (31k) Hey, if the feeling catches you, go with it!
17. "The Rocky And Fartwinkle Show" (30k) Bullwinkle REALLY needs a new hat...
18. "Fart Long And Prosper!" (43k) Didn't know those communicator mics were so sensitive!
19. "Sounds Of The (Farting) Season" (31k) Let's all gather 'round the fire and... Wait a minute, bad idea!
20. "Encore Performance" (31k) Sometimes the audience can be so cruel...